Part I: The Introduction of SILVER BROWN


When people ask me to describe SILVER BROWN to them, I give them one of several answers, depending on my mood and my perceived IQ of the person asking the question. If I’m not in any particular kind of mood, I tell them that it’s somewhat akin to a Paddy’s Pub-tinged interpretation of Alice in Wonderland set in a Matrix-like universe with a slight Lovecraftian bent to it. If I deem the person asking the question to be more well-read than average, I add to that that it’s lightly dusted (no pun intended) with a smattering of themes borrowed from Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy. If I’m in the mood to sound shamelessly pretentious, I tell them it’s something like Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World reimagined for the twenty-first century with a pronounced Zappaic flair, garnished with a trio of interludes in which it takes a decidedly Heavy Metal-like turn. If I’m in a cranky-ass first-thing-in-the-morning pre-coffee kind of mood, or otherwise a mood reminiscent of Jack Nicholson in at least half the movies he’s ever been in (I’m thinking the first half of As Good As It Gets with a bit of The Shining thrown in), I would say something like: “Well, why don’t you just read the bloody thing yourself?”


If the person asking the question is a five hundred-pound individual from a remote region in the belly of the boondocks who has more (illegitimate?) children than teeth and has never read any book they weren’t pressured to read by either their pastor or their high school English teacher, or heaven forbid, the alt-right punditry and/or the local Grand Wizard, I would give the (grossly inaccurate) lowest-common-denominator copout answer, saying: “It’s sort of like a Disney Princess movie in the vein of Beauty and the Beast, only it’s set in the Land of Ooo and the production involved the animators being given a ration of two hits of acid every day they worked on the project. And it’s in book form! Unfortunately, novels typically aren’t marketed with accompanying soundtrack albums like movies are, but if this book had one (psst… it does, sort of), it would an album that would blow your little mind clean off – I’m talking a Wish You Were Here level of awe-inspiring sonic mindgasmry…”

If you can’t hear Heaven and Nature speaking directly to you through David Gilmour’s guitar just by looking at this picture, I would seriously question whether you have a soul.

In the freak circumstance that the aforementioned isn’t even marginally familiar with Beauty and the Beast on account of the fact that their particular church denomination has been boycotting the Disney empire for years in retaliation against their gay-friendly hiring practices, or if they’re otherwise culturally backward enough to believe I was referring to the Barbara Mandrell number when I mentioned Wish You Were Here, I would give the easily-digestible steamed-carrot-purée edition of the (grossly inaccurate) lowest-common-denominator copout answer, and say: “It’s Smokey and the Bandit (or The Blues Brothers) told upside-down and backwards with a bit of some alternate take on Twilight written by a better author thrown in where the heroine has an actual personality. And magical powers. That she can’t be arsed to learn how to use.” If they respond to the word “heroine” with some quip about needles and spoons, at that point I would just give up trying to explain it to them altogether.

What’s it about? Well, there’s a girl, and an inhuman freak. Like I casually alluded to earlier, the girl is a witch. A witch she wishes she wasn’t. There’s also a war. Between the witch’s people and the inhuman freak’s people. A missing artifact between them, which only she can locate. She’s literally addicted to this artifact, like a drug. But her people need it for other purposes. This is the story of the quest to retrieve that artifact. A quest which might involve a few very difficult decisions….


I will love him and squeeze him and kiss him and call him George.

One last thing…
This site, just like the aforementioned freak, is constantly molting and changing its form. It’s probably in its larval stage, but I can never be too sure about that. Didn’t get a good look at the creature that laid the egg sac in my brain the other night. At any rate, this site is due to develop new organs and appendages it never had before as it grows and evolves. This might be a completely different site six months from now.

NEXT >> Part II: The Birth of SILVER BROWN

SILVER BROWN: A Forwarpendix
Part I: The Introduction of SILVER BROWN
Part II: The Birth of SILVER BROWN
Part III: The Long and the Short of SILVER BROWN
Part IV: The World of SILVER BROWN
Part V: The People of SILVER BROWN
Part VI: The War of SILVER BROWN
Part VII: The Language of SILVER BROWN
Part VIII: The Dashing Prince of SILVER BROWN

Part IX: The Complete First Act of SILVER BROWN
Part X: The Composer of SILVER BROWN

Part XI: The Journey of SILVER BROWN
Part XII: The Soundtrack of SILVER BROWN
Part XIII: The Bullhorn of SILVER BROWN
Part XIV: The Green Grass of SILVER BROWN
Part XV: The Zen of SILVER BROWN

[go to top]


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s