photoshop – Five and ¾ Senses

I was originally going to use my shiny new TikTok account as a showcase for my spontaneous poetry, but that concept lasted only for the first couple of videos. The more abstract and avant-garde creations of mine elicit more of a reaction from the Internet-surfing public, from the looks of things. Creations that will presumably become even trippier now that I’ve acquired Premiere as part of a bundle package with Photoshop. Had to do some tinkering around with the graphics card to get Premiere to work properly on Windows 11, but before long I had churned out the maiden GIF. I found myself promptly deactivating that Creative Cloud portal/updater doohickey that Adobe always installs on your machine when you buy one of these programs, though. That thing’s just a RAM whore. Mostly useless to boot.

On a completely unrelated note, this particular location has never had toilet paper. Ever. If you go number two, you must wipe your ass against the trees like the bears do it. But the beach is lovely.

@x_jupiterhart
#summer #hiking #beach #beachvibes #psychedelictok #outdoors #outhouse #canada #fyp
♬ Three Friends – 2011 Remaster – Gentle Giant

SIGHTS

It’s… it’s growing a head!

September 13, 2021September 13, 2021 X. Jupiter Hart

This month would mark the silver anniversary of the day I first started learning what is now referred to as the Adobe Creative Cloud suite. These days, most kids have mastered Photoshop by the time they enter high school. But there used to be a quainter period of world history when one typically acquired such skills in a formal educational setting. Back when Illustrator’s startup screen (and overall branding) famously depicted The Birth of Venus…

They’ve since replaced her with a new girl, who will most certainly never be as memorable as the original.

That period of history was so quaint that you could actually plunk down a one-time fixed sum for a program like Photoshop or Illustrator, which once paid would grant you unlimited use of the desired software ad infinitum until the day your computer retired to the great network in the sky. Good times, those were. Alas, those days are gone. Somewhere along the way, Adobe figured out that they could fleece even more money out of their loyal customers by renting their software as opposed to selling it. Now you can only download what amounts to a trial version (albeit a fully functional one with all the bells and whistles) that expires after a certain length of time. In order to continue using the software when that time runs out, those guys in San Jose demand you pay them for more time. Which also eventually runs out.

One of these days, we’ll figure out a way to freeze time. But until then, I decided to rent Illustrator for a month or two to work on some new visual concepts…

The Green Grass of SILVER BROWN

A Digital Fossil Exhibit

July 26, 2020July 26, 2020 X. Jupiter Hart

This is actually not the first blog I’ve ever started. I’ve created about half a dozen of them in my lifetime, but none of my former blogs presently exist. Most of them were shut down voluntarily by me a few months after launching. Usually out of boredom. Or maybe because I just couldn’t be arsed to do the work involved in creating and maintaining a blog. It was one of those reasons. This current blog has already outlasted every blog I’ve done before, so it’s got that going for it at least.

I archive most of what I create, and remnants of former blogs still exist in my personal digital vaults. Here’s a titular wordmark I created for the header of one of my old attempts…

cerbfurzejo3 — Rough translation: “The Brainfart Place”. I wrote it another language and used a fancy script font to make it an elegant brainfart place.

…and here’s a banner I created for somebody else’s blog (which also no longer exists)…

There’s also this skull banner I did once, although I can’t for the life of me remember what blog I did this for…

Lastly, I give you this collection of photographic evidence from that time five years ago when I created a (working!) ganja pipe from a jalapeño pepper. One that had just the right shape to be used for such a purpose. All it needed were exactly two incisions…

jalapeno_pipe_in_action — There’s my trusty old laptop Lucille in the background, who has since retired to the great network in the sky. #RIP

Despite being refrigerated at all times when not in use, the jalepeño pipe only lasted for a few days before it started rotting and I had to retire it. But it was an interesting experiment while it lasted. This pipe imparted a zesty Tex-Mex flavour to the smoke. At least it did while it was still fresh. Then decomposition set in and it started tasting more like Taco Bell…

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