SIGHTS

I Created an Oviform Monster

This is part of a science experiment I did for school. I was curious as to what the end product would taste like, so I cooked it up and ate it. In short, it was a culinary abomination. Had to slather the whole thing in generous amounts of salsa just to make it palatable. Smelled like roadkill as it cooked, and gave me a colossally bad gutache that lasted for the next twenty-four hours. The havoc it wreaked on my digestive tract admittedly didn’t ruin the Grey Cup for me as much as A.J. Ouellette’s touchdown in the fourth quarter. But still, it was bad enough to convince me that raspberry purée is a terrible thing to marinate an egg in.

It looked and tasted like a puddle of raspberry juice before I cooked it.

…but for whatever reason, marinating a different egg in blueberry purée (as opposed to raspberry) gave the end product the taste and consistency of yogurt. It was like eating a dairy product that never involved a cow. There were no subsequent violent rumblings in my intestines to boot.

I still think I’m gonna use HP Sauce if I ever try this experiment again.

SMELLS

Canadian Christmas Candy 🍁🍬

The reigning queen of a certain galactic alliance in my universe, known only as Her Majesty, has retired to her royal winter storage quarters. She shall remain there for as long as outside temperatures are low enough to cause body parts to shrivel and bong water to freeze. Behold, a photographic portrait of Her Majesty, vested in her royal bubblewrap winter gown…

Her royal bowl is bubblewrapped separately.

I do not smoke at all during the three months out the year that Her Majesty is in recess. The lungs definitely appreciate having the time off. So this would be edible season for me. One of the great things about living in a country where legal cannabis shops are almost as common as liquor stores is that holiday-themed edibles are an actual thing. Like eggnog-flavoured chocolate…

I also got this candy cane-tinged number…

Mmm…sprinkles!

TASTE

Happy (Canadian) #Thanksgiving 🍗🧅🍠🍷🍁

What’s not to love about a holiday that’s all about stuffing your face? And maybe getting together with family. But mostly about the stuffing your face part. It’s not like (the average person) never sees their family any other day of the year.