The Journey of SILVER BROWN

Just Beyond a Gross of Cedars: A Visual Novella

Happy Canada Day weekend to all my country(wo)men reading this. If you’re into that sort of thing. Some folks have chosen to forgo celebrating the aforementioned holiday this year, in light of this, this and that, and the who knows how many more like those which haven’t (yet) made headlines. Others never celebrate it any year, because they’ve always seen Canada as an imaginary fantasy land that doesn’t exist outside the collective imagination of the white man. And you know what? It’s all good. Part of what I love about this country is that the practice of fetishizing the state has always been looked upon as weird. Unless hockey is involved in some way, jingoism is just not a part of our culture. Pay no attention to what our opposition leader said recently. A federal election could likely be around the corner, so he’s just peddling outrage and demagoguery in order to score cheap brownie points with the base. Because that’s what conservatives are into these days. Coming up with an actual platform is too hard.

The freedom to create a parodic re-interpretation of the national flag like this one without being labelled a traitor or being threatened with bodily injury by complete strangers is an actual thing in Canada.

Nestled somewhere in that imaginary fantasy land called Canada is a little hideyhole out in the wilderness where I went to get inspired for whatever it is I’m going to write next. It’s a short drive down a side road like this one. With only one lane. So if somebody else is leaving the hideyhole at the same time you arrive, you have to get a bit creative behind the wheel. But it’s well worth the risk.  


The chillest dog I’ve ever seen was there to greet me to the hideyhole. As chill as Canada herself. Wasn’t getting busy sniffing every crotch he could get his nose on. Like a lot of dogs would in a crowd of unfamiliar people. Just lying there, being all chill. Even after getting pet by multiple passersby. I wasn’t sure if he was naturally that chill or if his owner gave him Scooby Snacks an hour before coming to the beach. Didn’t bother to ask.  

Chill as fuck.
Somebody’s off to get more Scooby Snacks.

On the second level is an executive parking lot…

This ain’t my car.

…and when the moon is in the seventh house, the sand is pink…

I’m getting a hankerin’ for Baskin-Robbins for some strange reason.

Maybe it’s the same tidal forces that create that gnarly sand dune effect at the bottom of the lake…

The sun totally photobombed this pic.

…or maybe it was from whatever witchly magnetic energies are emanating from this thing…

…but somewhere along the way there, I ran over some huge industrial projectile that must’ve fallen of somebody’s truck, and ended up with this…

Fortunately some merrie elfin creature came out of the woods to lend me his tire compressor, so I could inflate the tire just enough to go back to wherever it is I’m hanging my hat at the moment. Which is somewhere down this road…


Flat tire aside, the only downside to this place is that if you suddenly have to drop the kids off at the pool, you have to do it like the bears do it, and I don’t mean the Charmin bears either…

…but the positives far outweigh the negatives, for sure. There’s a few literary ideas to come out of a stately-looking outhouse that nobody can actually use.

While floating in that exquisite emerald green water (which I would have taken a picture of if I wasn’t paranoid about dropping my phone in the lake) I saw a cloud formation that looked like a colossal larval entity with a face that vaguely resembled that of one of the minor characters from The Empire Strikes Back

This guy, specifically.

The Journey of SILVER BROWN

The Politics of SILVER BROWN

My apologies for the lack of sexiness in that title. It is no secret that in the current zeitgeist, nothing kills the sexy quite like any mention of politics. But I decided to go with that title anyway, in the hopes that it will be vindicated by the passage of time. Perhaps this blog post will have a sexy title in another era. An era when the free world is not being ruled by a living breathing Oompa Loompa. An Oompa Loompa of a far less intelligent breed than the familiar Wonkan stock, with an even looser grasp of human normalcy than the experimental bastard child of a wolverine and some thousand-fanged entity that hatched from an undigested corn kernel buried deep in a roadside pile of excrement shat by the Dark Lord Cthulhu himself somewhere in the same parallel timestream in the multiverse where everybody’s evil twin lives. A timestream where CEO is an anagram of God, but dog is not.

A couple of weeks ago while I was waiting on baited breath for some special announcement telling us of the grand opening of a fancy new dog park at a certain house on Pennsylvania Avenue, politics as it relates to world-building in fiction spontaneously came up as a discussion topic on the aforementioned Oompa Loompa’s social media network of choice…


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The Green Grass of SILVER BROWN

Maui Wowie: A Review

Anybody who knows me well knows I dig the ganja. I’ve smoked it all from Jack Herer to blueberry kush and everything in between. Indica! Sativa! Various hybrid strains! Homegrown! Edibles! Dabs! You name it. I’ve even tried one of those newfangled vape pen jobbies. Yet strangely enough, I’ve never smoked Maui Wowie. Until recently. My usual ganja supplier had it on offer last month, so I picked myself up a few grams of that just because I could.

One of my favourite things about scoring a new baggie is The Ritual. I swear on my mother’s grave there are few non-sexual things in this world more pleasant than inserting your schnoz deep inside that Ziploc receptacle to fully taste it with your nasal hairs. Like smelling God’s vagina. I always do The Ritual before I start smoking it or even grinding it; it should completely go without saying that I performed The Ritual in honour of this new baggie that Nature has blessed me with. If you accented the sweet aroma of the divine naughty bits with faint hints of a scratch n’ sniff version of a vintage bottle of Médoc, you’d have Maui Wowie. This doesn’t even describe how it looks. Tell me this is not a gorgeous bud…


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If you stare at this picture for long enough, it will reveal to you your soul.

I overall found this strain to be not as sticky as some of the other many strains I’ve smoked. I had to pack Her Majesty’s bowl in an indoor area with adequate shelter from the wind, in order to keep that good shit from accidentally blowing away on me. But that’s about the only downside I can think of regarding this strain.


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During a session I arrange all my equipment to honour the four seasons and the four directions, because that’s just how I roll.

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Behold, a picture of Her Majesty with her chamber filled with Maui Wowie smoke. I actually took several better shots than this, but I felt the lighting in this particular image was highly suggestive of butter lamps in an old monastery, so I decided to use it.

This smoke had a noticeable grape flavour to it and a nice cerebral sativa high. Not one of those strains that’ll glue you to the couch; I could still function after the session and perform needful run-of-the-mill activities. But before I started doing those run-of-the-mill activities, I overheard the neighbour’s dog barking, and it suddenly dawned on me that dog language must be far more sophisticated than ours. They can tell an astonishing number of things about a person or another dog just by smelling their urine – a language completely incomprehensible to us. If we could smell that language, we totally would have gotten the dogs to write the Bible for us. It would be the best version of the Bible ever, and we would be so awed and inspired by it that there would instantly be peace on earth and no more wars. But alas, we can’t smell dog language, so we had to write the Bible ourselves and come up with some cockamamie backstory about how it was written by a mythical creature who apparently doesn’t urinate at all. The result? The exact opposite of peace on earth. I was suddenly inspired to shout out unto all the nations of the earth with a voice of triumph:

…and as soon as I tapped on that tweet button, a brilliant idea came to me about the social dynamic between the characters in my book that I couldn’t believe I’ve never considered before, and I thanked the neighbour’s dog for telling me that. Dogs can read people’s brainwaves, I’m pretty sure of it.

A Special Message for Facebook

I know you read all my blog posts, and you’ll probably get up in my business about this one because of your sanctimonious attitude against the depiction of “illegal”† products on your platform. Let me spell this out for you. Remember that old episode of The Simpsons where Mr. Burns tried to block out the sun so that the people of Springfield would be more dependent on him for their illumination needs?†† If you think of the sun as Mother Ganja and Burnsy as a stand-in for the Big Oil corporate lobbyists who own the politicians, that episode illustrates perfectly why ganja was outlawed. Greed and lust for power, and nothing more. Greed I’m personally taking a stand against. So suck it, Zuckerberg.

† I am Canadian. In my country, ganja is not illegal. So again, suck it, Zuckerberg.

†† Not that I’m suggesting anything, but I’d like to kindly remind you that this was the same episode where Mr. Burns got shot.