The Soundtrack of SILVER BROWN

Yuletide Standards (Re)done All Metal AF

Like 99.999999999999999314159% of the human race, I can’t stand Christmas music. But a spoonful of metal helps the reindeer shit go down, in the most delightful way. Here’s a more interesting take on a certain Mariah Carey number:

A guy in a Santa costume rocking out? Yes, please…

They should play that shit in the malls, but of course they won’t. This next vid is not a holiday standard per se, but it does feature St. Nick’s Norwegian cousin wandering the streets of New York…

Here’s a couple of more traditional numbers given the symphonic power metal treatment…

…and here’s a tune that should be mandatory at every Christmas party, because Lemmy was a god who walked among men.

Finally, I leave you with a fairly straight cover of one of the more overtly religious Christmas standards performed by Rob Halford. Yes, that Rob Halford. The same Rob Halford who uptight reactionary parents used to accuse of being the siren of Satan way back in the day when all that cockamamie horseshit about backmasking was actually taken seriously (at one point there was even a whole legal case about it, which the reactionary parents thankfully lost). I don’t think it’s even scientifically possible for him to do anything that isn’t metal as fuck.

The Bullhorn of SILVER BROWN

The Eclosion of Four New Chapters!

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First of all, let me start by wishing you all a very merrie solstice. May all your feasting and orgying this holiday season satisfy the gut and the heart, and may the birth of a new sun usher in a year of happiness and prosperity for you and yours. As my gift to you, it is my pleasure to announce that the long-awaited malmiracle of Antinature has arrived at long last. The literary creature growing inside me has finally undergone the first of many moltings. It now has four new chapters it didn’t have before, and a slightly different cover. It’s been uploaded to this site now, available from the usual download page. I double-dog dare ya to click on that cover.


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The Soundtrack of SILVER BROWN

“Baby, it’s cold outside…”

As many of us know, there’s a certain song often played around Yuletide that a number of radio stations have ceased playing on the grounds that it is deemed offensive in light of modern sensibilities. I happen to think that a comfortable majority of Christmas music is dreadful crappola and should never be played under any circumstances, but that’s another rant. If we’re going to start “retiring” holiday standards, we’ll obviously need new standards to replace them. Might I suggest this one? If a group of carolers showed up at my door and performed a rendition of this ditty, I would be impressed, even though they would almost certainly fail to replicate Mr. Petersen’s evil clown-like wail. The lyrics contain no references whatsoever to sexual assault or exploitation of women, although that bit about Donald Duck is open to interpretation…