Once upon a time, I travelled to a land far, far away in a mystical chariot with a built-in USB port. A land steeped in centuries-old tradition inhabited by benevolent bear-spirits who walk like men. They helped me slay that faceless snow monster who came after me for eating that Finnish hoagie sandwich. Don’t regret eating that sandwich one bit, though. It was magically delicious.
I always get a few of these every winter. The majority of them are unremarkable pellets that melt the second I step into any warm building. Then there are ones like these. It was half-melted by the time I thought to photographically immortalize it, but was quite the stylin’ chin ornament at first glance…
Nobody really reads these things anyway, so it’s all good. A lot of great things got cancelled or postponed this year, but at least that gawd-awful reality show starring a certain
evil clown washed-up game show host got the axe as well. See? Silver lining.