This Guy Should Be On Our $20 Bill

Toppled statues of Queen Victoria don’t bother me in the slightest. She was never the epitome of cool, or particularly pleasing to look at. But if they start tearing down statues like this within my lifetime, I’ll be officially done with this planet and booking that seat on the first available flight to Mars.


Your #Pride Moment of Zen

“If you meet the Buddha, kill him.”

— traditional Zen koan, attributed to Linji

I think this Jehovah guy is nothing more than a cartoon supervillain from a poorly-written Bronze Age comic book who deserves about as much credit for creating the human race as Porky Pig deserves for inventing penicillin. My apologies to the fandom, but that’s just what I think. Such a trifle of an entity is most certainly no excuse to vilify an entire segment of the population. Especially when the whole motive for encouraging homophobia is the basest and shallowest one of all — the cha-ching*. Somebody along the way (who was probably a GOP fundraiser, although I don’t know that for sure) figured out that people put more money in the collection plates when they’re fearful and angry than they do when they’re at peace.**

* Little old ladies’ bank accounts aren’t as easy to suck dry in a Zoom meeting. Hence the repeated insistence upon in-person church services in the middle of a global pandemic.

** Frank Zappa was absolutely spot on. Tax the fuck out of ’em.

How could you hate this face?

I fully get that any successful† media franchise is bound to have its fair share of colourful fans. That’s just the way things roll. But there’s such a thing as overdoing it with the colourful fandom, methinks. Every Stanley Cup riot of my lifetime has invariably resulted in a busy night for the Vancouver†† Police Department. That ought to tell you something.

Let the record show that “successful” is not necessarily synonymous with “good”. Plenty of gawd-awful things have become successful. The average person could probably name five such things off the top of their head.

††The Vancouver Canucks organization contributes millions every year to British Columbia’s provincial coffers. It’s a no-brainer that promoting any kind of bigotry would have a negative effect on their business rather than a positive one. I’m also pretty sure they don’t have any secret graveyards hidden away somewhere, unless you count the one where they bury all their dead dreams of Stanley Cup glory. Despite the boorish behaviour of some of their fans and as much as they profoundly suck ass as a team, they’re still more respectable than any church.

Have you even TRIED decorating a gay wedding cake? Give it a whirl just once. Hell, you might even enjoy the experience.


A Wee Piece of the Olde Skull

I was going to write something grandiose and thought-provoking this week, but my dentist told me I had to refrain from smoking for a couple of days after he pulled my wisdom tooth. Which actually didn’t bugger up my weekend as much as my body’s initial reactions to having a small part of it removed. But now that I’m feeling much better and am relatively confident that I can go a whole hour without fainting, I give you a visual extravaganza of the small part in question. This guy was lodged in an almost horizontal position within my gum tissue, but that wasn’t the only reason why it had to be removed…

This is its good side.
That’s some right filthy-looking wisdom. I guess that could be its eyepatch.