SIGHTS

The Charmin Bears Would Not Be Amused

I was originally going to use my shiny new TikTok account as a showcase for my spontaneous poetry, but that concept lasted only for the first couple of videos. The more abstract and avant-garde creations of mine elicit more of a reaction from the Internet-surfing public, from the looks of things. Creations that will presumably become even trippier now that I’ve acquired Premiere as part of a bundle package with Photoshop. Had to do some tinkering around with the graphics card to get Premiere to work properly on Windows 11, but before long I had churned out the maiden GIF. I found myself promptly deactivating that Creative Cloud portal/updater doohickey that Adobe always installs on your machine when you buy one of these programs, though. That thing’s just a RAM whore. Mostly useless to boot.

On a completely unrelated note, this particular location has never had toilet paper. Ever. If you go number two, you must wipe your ass against the trees like the bears do it. But the beach is lovely.



SIGHTS

Pride in the Sticks

During this time of war and pestilence, I’ve been hiding away from the major population centres deep in the ancient sticks. Haven’t come down with The Rona yet, and a large part of that is due to my being in a sparsely populated area that is completely devoid of culture and attractions save those related to fishing, shunned by the majority of non-fishing tourists pandemic or not. While those qualities make it an ideal spot to wait out a global pandemic, I sure do miss those days when I used to be exposed to actual culture. This year’s Pride has been a boon from the gods thus far, for it has brought culture to those of us who have none. A power trio playing Stones covers doesn’t have quite the same level of über-festive badassitude as some of the shit I’ve seen in Toronto, but I certainly appreciate the sight and sound of a company of live street performers that isn’t a twangy country band. Haven’t seen anything like that in a while.

I was originally going to TikTok this but the damn sun was so bright that I couldn’t see what the hell I was tapping on. Ended up with still shots and no video.

SIGHTS, SOUNDS

Say Hello to My Little Friend

Unlike every laptop I’ve ever owned, my new laptop (which I have given the network identifier SWEET-LORRAINE in homage to the Uriah Heep tune) has very little internal hard drive space. Because she was designed to work with the cloud. Which is fine, except the thing is I like to listen to music while I’m working, and there’s not enough room in her caboose to house the vast collection of tunage I’ve been amassing since at least a decade before Spotify existed. Which I’ve never bothered syncing with the cloud, because it’s seventy megashitloads of tunage that would take too long to sync. The entire soundtrack of my life, and then some. Like Peter Quill’s Walkman. Something I just can’t part with. So I willfully splurged an extra hundred to expand SWEET-LORRAINE’s warehouse by a quarter of a terabyte. Her new appendage has been christened LADYINBLACK, after yet another Uriah Heep tune.

Why yes, that is my foot in the background. Thanks for asking.