

Having been through this process as evidenced by the photographic display seen above, I deduce that the phrase Fauci ouchie is a misnomer. Not just because I’m Canadian, and hence slightly out of the good doctor’s jurisdiction (we have our own resident infectious disease expert who is likewise despised by certain alt-right whingebags for no good reason). Verily, there wasn’t much ouchie to speak of. That flu shot I got last November was actually way more painful than both COVID shots combined. Barely felt the needle go in either time. A slight tingly feeling in my arm for a day or so after each dose (not unlike something one would experience after getting a flu shot) was about the only physical assurance that I’d actually been injected with something.
Not one anti-vaxxer will give a speck of credence to the preceding paragraph. I’d bet the farm on that. But if Karen from Facebook is reading this, I got a question. Now that I’ve received the mark of the Beast, how do I go about activating my new satanic powers? I’m trying to harness the power of Mephistopheles to turn anything I want into crispy bacon using only my mind, but I can’t even get my eyes to do that thing where they glow red like the woodland Christmas critters off that old South Park episode…